once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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