I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
