Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize