I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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