And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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