i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
