I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
