if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
