When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my shit smells like andre
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i think my cat just said my name.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
