This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
