It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
