Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
