I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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