Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
