She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
