I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I have aggressive nipples.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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