I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
