I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
