then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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