that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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