We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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