ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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