physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
