Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
