She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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