I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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