ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
