I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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