how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
