mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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