Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
