no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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