why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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