Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.

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(862): View more from New Jersey

I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…

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(913): View more from Kansas

you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(805): View more from California

I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed

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(818): View more from California

The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster

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(240): View more from Maryland

You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)

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(205): View more from Alabama

My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.

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