Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard