No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.