Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings

(856): View more from New Jersey

youre going to kill that woman one of these days

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(845): View more from New York

i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(770): View more from Georgia

it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there

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(765): View more from Indiana

My grandma had to be escorted out by police.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

what type of emt are you

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(585): View more from New York

I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper

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