ADVERTISEMENT

• (563): View more from Iowa

  Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?

  Fav 29 1273 4558

  share tweet
  

• (517): View more from Michigan

  I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...

  Fav 15 5746 1244

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (302): View more from Delaware

  you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.

  (1-302): View more from Delaware

  he's 29.

  Fav 16 1876 5097

  share tweet
  

• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."

  Fav 20 5113 2095

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (517): View more from Michigan

  i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?

  Fav 8 2151 1302

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey

  Fav 4 2246 1330

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (714): View more from California

  You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.

  Fav 15 3956 1042

  share tweet
  

• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.

  Fav 3 1480 698

  share tweet
  

• (408): View more from California

  look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.

  (1-408): View more from California

  eating on the run again ?

  Fav 1 1044 584

  share tweet
  
• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.

  Fav 10 1696 1075

  share tweet
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.

  Fav 2 911 819

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (519): View more from Ontario

  We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.

  Fav 2 526 305

  share tweet
  

• (310): View more from California

  Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.

  Fav 0 229 336

  share tweet
  

• (905): View more from Ontario

  But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.

  (1-905): View more from Ontario

  Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.

  (905): View more from Ontario

  But I want to be Keith.

  Fav 2 105 14

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (209): View more from California

  She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper

  Fav 2 47 8

  share tweet
  

Randomize