just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
