his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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