Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize