i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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