Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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