Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
