I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
