I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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