His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
