he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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