The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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