Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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