Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
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