His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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