Small penises have feelings too.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
