My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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