Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
