you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
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I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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