I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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