Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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