So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
