Joe is yelling at the trees again.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
