he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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