I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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