No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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