You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
