hell yes lets make some ravioli
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
