dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
