So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
