fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
