he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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