After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
