careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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