you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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