obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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