please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
